If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
