omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
