What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
