he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just gift wrapped bread.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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