I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
