"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
