I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
