batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
