is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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