she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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