I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
