We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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