When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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