haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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