Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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