dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Randomize
