You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
