People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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