It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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