how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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