its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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