Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
