benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
