hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
