I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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