Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
