How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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