.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
