My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I want to have your abortion
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
