Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
