I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
