He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
