I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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