Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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