So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
