that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
