you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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