someone threw a dead crab at me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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