so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
