We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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