You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
