i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
