a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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