I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Pappa wants mamma naked
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
two words...techno handjob
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
