so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
