Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize