But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
