I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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