just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize