3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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