barbara walters just said penis...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
