haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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