My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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