Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
