Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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