I'm gonna have a badass scar
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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