Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize