Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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