Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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